Strange Encounters
by Airin0
Summary: Complete cracks involving the majority of the heroes characters. Mostly focusing on Daphne, Peter, and Sylar.
1. Crazed Caffeine

**Complete Crack...**

After running like hell, all over New York City with her lover, Peter, Daphne was beginning to feel the effects. Being able to run somewhere near the speed of light for hours, (only occasionally stopping to make out), can certainly make a person tired, and in major need of some caffeine.

"Say, Peter, what do you think about stopping at that new coffee shop, you know, Crazed Caffeine?" I'm seriously in need of a shot of espresso... or twenty." Daphne says, with a crazed look in her already wild eyes.

"Since when do you have any interest in coffee?" responds Peter.

"Oh, just since I discovered how great I feel when I drink it. Talk about an adrenaline rush, the stuff is freaking amazing! It's almost better than an Ando zap. Man, he should really get that patented..."

"Okay, fine, as long as you let its effects wear off before we return home, I don't want to have to replace our bed frame again, and I'm sick of cleaning up wood from all the tables we've manage to smash into multiple pieces."

Daphne and Peter enter the coffee shop, only to discover that they have been followed. It's that damn Sylar again. When is he going to get it through his twisted, serial killer brain, that Peter is not interested? For the past several months, Sylar has been perched outside their window every night, just so he can catch a peek of Peter, naked.

"Hello Peter, my, you just get sexier every time I see you! That crooked smile, oh and that hair, so hard to resist. My mouth waters just thinking about you." Swoons Sylar, completely ignoring the fact that Daphne is standing right there, ready to pounce at any moment.

"Sylar! SYLAR! Listen, sicko, he's mine and you can't have him!!!!" Interjects Daphne, jumping up and down at a frantic pace.

"Did I hear something? Nah, it must have been the wind. As I was saying, Peter, we should get together sometime. There's a sing-a-long for The Sound of Music playing at the theater tonight, wouldn't you love to join me? Doe, a dear, a female dear, Ray, a drop of golden sun..." Sang Sylar, as he skipped out of the coffee shop, clearly convinced Peter was in love with him.

"What a creeper!" exclaimed Daphne. "Why does he always do this? One second he's chopping someone's head open, and eating their brains, the next he's singing songs from the Sound of Music!!!

"Yes, he has problems. He probably got dropped on his head a few too many times as a child." Peter said, with a slightly mortified look on his face.

"Anyhoo, where's my mocha-smocha, jamaican bacon, double frapacchino, mexican roofing tar latte?"

**To be continued....**

P.S. If this seems extremely sucky and lame, it's because it's my first time, at writing anything, ever. Don't be too harsh, or I just might cry, and stick Lara on you. She _will _eat you.


	2. The Future in a Toilet Bowl

**Sorry that it has been so long since I wrote the first chapter. Now that it's summer, I will try to be much more consistent.**

As Daphne approached the counter, she was startled by an odd breathing noise coming from behind her. As she turned around, she caught sight of someone very unexpected, Darth Vader. Except this was not your regular Darth, this particular version just happened to be wearing a pair of hideous horn-rimmed glasses.

"BENNETT!" Daphne gasped, "What are you thinking? I mean, I know you're a freak, but seriously, what the heck?!"

"Oh shut up. I was attending a Star Wars convention. You know, light sabers, star ships, the whole nine yards. Brings back memories of my younger, less evil days." Exclaimed Bennett, occasionally interjecting with a Darth Vader-like breath.

As Bennett was speaking Daphne began pondering the ways she could get rid of the creeper. Eventually she settled on a simple, yet completely out there idea.

"Say, Darth, I heard some people saying they thought there was a time machine in the bathroom. Something about some weird gravitational force coming from one of the stalls. Why don't you go check it out?"

"Well, I suppose in order to fulfill my destiny, I must go investigate."

What a gullible idiot, thought Daphne. "Peter? Ah, there you are. Is Sylar still trying to get into your pants?"

"Y-y-yes" grimaced Peter, pulling on his ever-so-shiny emo bangs. "I don't know how to get rid of him, why can't he just go eat somebody's brain like a normal psycho serial killer?"

"Clean up in stall two!" A Barista yelled across the cafe.

I wonder what all the hubbub is about?, thought Daphne. Ah ha! Bennett must have found the "time machine."

So Daphne, with her ability to run at break neck speeds, sped into the mens bathroom unnoticed. There, in the second stall, was Bennett. Apparently, thinking he had found a time machine in the form of a toilet, Bennett had stuck his head, complete with his Darth Vader costume on, inside the toilet bowl.

"Oh my, I didn't expect the future to be so... yellow." Slurred Darth/Bennett into the toilet water. "Why world, why do you have to be so cruel?"

"Uh, sir, Mr. Darth, would you please assist me with pulling your head out of the toilet?" Asked the slightly mortified barista.

"Toilet? What do you mean dear boy, by toilet? This is no toilet. This is a time machine. So please, leave me alone to travel through time in peace."

Peter, having experienced the whole ordeal from nearby, asked the barista to leave so he could attempt to successfully extricate the idiot Bennett from the confinements of the toilet bowl.

Using his telekinesis, Peter cut open the toilet bowl, freeing Bennett's head from its watery depths.

"The things I do for idiots." Peter muttered, as Bennett sobbed on the floor, in a puddle of urine.

**Yay! I did it! I hope you enjoy it. My writing will hopefully improve with every addition. Reviews are appreciated.**


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